Under Construction

Mom kicked us out of the basement and made us get a real job! So, we decided to be Useless full time, build an app, dApps, plan a full marketing campaign, and gain over 10,000 holders! We thank you for your patience while we get our act together on *uselesscrypto.com. Check back soon for a new Useless website design!

World's first Pump-N-Burn Token Mechanism

The first hyper-hyper-deflationary token. This token is so useless, we dedicate all revenue towards buying it back - just so we can burn it.

Hate using Pancake Swap? Buy using the dApp

First of its kind BSC project

So what do you do with a useless token? You burn it, of course! The magic and power behind this token is novel concept that we lovingly refer to as "Pump-N-Burn" — we have devised an App/dApp ecosystem with the explicit purpose of generating revenue, buying back the token, and burning it straight to hell. This makes us the first hyper-hyper-deflationary token. Buybacks and burn — but on steroids!

Yes, you read that right: we loop App/dApp revenue directly into buying and burning $USELESS. Many tokens try to monetize their projects, but you'll hear people saying “That’s great you’re monetizing that, but how does that help me as a token investor”? In our case, all App/dApp revenue gets injected back into the token.

0 Happy Clients

Well, to be fair we also have 0 unhappy clients. Why should a token have clients?

100% Transparent

That this token is useless and must be burned. We are not literally transparent, that would be weird.

5 Days of Experience

OG dev learned how to create the website and token contract from watching Indian YouTubers. We've since overcompensated by adding more than 67+ years of combined dev experience to the team.

0 Awards

Well, maybe we'll get some awards in the future for being so utterly useless. If you want to give us an award, please do so we can have this number go up.

1 Registered Corporate Entity

Now we're just going to have to figure out how to tell the IRS that we burned all of our revenue.

6 Doxxed Team Members

People wanted to see our faces and names — probably for modeling inquiries, I'm guessing.

Mobile App Ecosystem

Mobile App Ecosystem

On the mobile application side, we are implementing a few lessons learned from Robinhood, which made trading retail stocks stupid simple. We want to break down the barrier to entry in the complex and confusing world of cryptocurrency. To get this started, we are developing a clean, easy-to-use crypto chart and portfolio-management app for a birds-eye-view of your favorite crypto-assets. So easy that even your great-grandmother can use it to trade crypto like a pro.

We plan to monetize through listings, advertising, and partnerships. And of course, all revenue from these endeavors will be looped directly back into the token. Our apps will always be free-to-use, though we may introduce premium-tier features for serious traders. Because we see ourselves more as a startup, not a token, we are aggressively exploring all sorts of ways to diversify and strengthen our revenue streams through new and innovative products that probably won't suck.

Contract Transparency

Read this section and check the links, so you don't have to ask me 5 million times in the chatroom if the LP is locked or burned.

1 Quadrillion Token Minted

Nowadays, you have to mint a Quadrillion or you're not cool. If you're feeling frisky, click the link to verify token creation.

250 Trillion Burned

Everybody is doing it, so why the hell not, you know that I can just mint 750 Trillion to begin with, but nooo, lets do this extra step.

Liquidity Creation

Here you can check the number of LP tokens created, which is important for the next section. Look at you go, reading all of this!

LP Locked

The total number of LP tokens locked should be the same from the LP creation, meaning that the initial LP is locked for 4 years.

Useless On-Chain Tokenomics

OG dev was so useless, he left in tokenomics, probably from code he copied elsewhere. We ran the numbers, and determined that we wanted to leave all tokenomics on-chain only — meaning exchanges do NOT implement tokenomics. There are very many nerdy reasons for this, so if you ask in our TG or discord, they'll give you the full run-down.

Questions that will be asked a million times on tg

What kind of things are you looking to monetize?

Currently, we are developing an easy-to-use charting app for cryptocurrencies, with features such as portfolio management, asset history, and whale-tracking. We are also building a few innovative dApps — not just specific to Useless — that will help facilitate volume on wallet-to-wallet and arbitrage transactions for a small fee.

How many devs are on this project?

There used to be one dev and his dog, but they were pretty useless. Sure, he got this useless token off the ground and put some things together here and there, then handed the keys over to the community. As a community, we found a liquidity bug and relaunched the token. Since then, our community has formed a corporation and we now have 9 senior-level software engineers, a slight improvement.

Where can I learn more about your business entity?

Useless Crypto, LLC is a legally registered corporation in Utah, USA. Only doxxed members of the corporate team can access the multi-signature safe, which controls all corporation transactions and contract interations. Here is the Certificate of Existence for you to see for yourself.

How do I hang out with all you useless people?

Join us on Discord or Telegram and tell us how useless this token is for you, or don't, we don't care.

I can't buy. What should I do?

Try increasing your slippage from 9% to 15% or more. Slippage amounts may vary due to trading volume and volatility. If that doesn't work, try changing the last number of the number of tokens you're trying to buy from like 0 to 1 — sometimes that fixes things.

Do you really not have a whitepaper?

Ok, you got us! You can't really have a token without a Litepaper. We used to have the Whitest Whitepaper, but some listings/exchanges didn't seem to get the joke.

Is this a scam?

Are you freakin high? After reading all of these FAQs, this is the conclusion that you came up with, GTHO and go back to being useless.

I'm convinced! How do I buy?

Make your money totally useless by clicking the above buy button.


Our Team


David "False Flag / Carc" Wyly

Useless Executive Officer
Corporate Multi-Sig Keyholder


Jackie "2pacsofcoors" Dutton

Useless Director of Marketing
Corporate Multi-Sig Keyholder


Lance "lynxbadger" Badger

Useless Director of Cloud Engineering
Corporate Multi-Sig Keyholder


Mitch "Mitch" Meiss

Useless Director of Product
Corporate Multi-Sig Keyholder


Joseph "rothgyr" Andrews

Useless Director of Public Relations
Corporate Multi-Sig Keyholder


Sheldon "Deathperil" Larsen

Useless Director of Software Engineering
Corporate Multi-Sig Keyholder